If you’re a HUGE “Game of Thrones” fan, you’ve already watched last night’s series finale . . . at least once. If you haven’t, you either don’t care . . . or you’re a DESPERATE FOOL trying to avoid spoilers today.
So, here’s a SPOILER-FREE rundown of all the “Thrones” insanity from over the weekend. And for those who DO want to drill down on what happened, we’ll also hook you up with links to a few solid recaps. Deal?
1. The Internet dug up the original, “New York Times” review of “Game of Thrones” from 2011, and it’s BRUTAL. It calls the show “boy fiction” that has been “patronizingly turned out to reach the population’s other half.”
The review mentions, quote, “Playboy-TV-style plot points” and “costume-drama sexual hopscotch,” and adds, quote, “[It] serves up a lot of confusion in the name of no larger or really relevant idea beyond sketchily fleshed-out notions that war is ugly, families are insidious, and power is hot.
“If you’re not averse to the Dungeons & Dragons aesthetic, the series might be worth the effort. If you are nearly anyone else, you will hunger for HBO to get back to the business of languages for which we already have a dictionary.” (Burn!)
“Game of Thrones” has won 47 Emmys so far, more than any other drama in history.
2. Emilia Clarke wrote a nice tribute to her character Daenerys Targaryen on Instagram. Among other things, she said, quote, “This woman has taken up the whole of my heart.
“I’ve sweated in the blaze of dragon fire, shed many tears at those who left our family early, and wrung my brain dry trying to do Khaleesi and the masterful words, actions (and names) I was given, justice . . . [it] has shaped me as a woman, as an actor and as a human being.”
3. Sophie Turner also wrote a tribute for her character, Sansa Stark. Quote, “Sansa, Thank you for teaching me resilience, bravery and what true strength really is. Thank you teaching me to be kind and patient and to lead with love. I grew up with you. I fell in love with you at 13.
“And now 10 years on . . . at 23 I leave you behind, but I will never leave behind what you’ve taught me.”
4. Lena Headey (Cersei) and Jerome Flynn (Bronn) never appeared in the same scene together on “Game of Thrones”, and that’s apparently due to real-life drama.
Britain’s “Sun” tabloid says, quote, “Lena and Jerome [had] a bad break-up. They kept the full extent of it secret, but it was a very turbulent relationship and it [was] very awkward on set . . . she appears to have a genuine hate towards him.”
5. The petition asking that Season Eight of “Game of Thrones” be re-done “with competent writers” has surpassed 1 MILLION signatures. And last we checked, it was up over 1.1 MILLION.
By the way, “Thrones” actor Jacob Anderson is NOT a fan on that petition. He’s the guy who looks like Trevor Noah, and plays Grey Worm. He called it “rude.”
6. Roy Wood Jr. from “The Daily Show” did a hilarious, five-minute recap of the whole series . . . although it does NOT include the ending. He starts off by saying, quote, “It’s basically a show about how you can’t trust nobody with blond hair.”
(There’s QUESTIONABLE LANGUAGE in the video. Preview it before you playing it for your audience.)
7. Now that “Game of Thrones” is over, CNET.com has a list of 11 shows you should watch next. “The Hollywood Reporter”has a list of 12, too. (That said, it’s almost summer. Maybe just take a break and . . . go outside?)
8. Finally, for those who HAVE watched the finale, here are a couple of solid recaps, reviews, and hot takes on the series finale.
(Here’s one who LIKED IT. Here’s one who HATED IT. E! News kind of thought it was FUNNY. “Esquire” has 56 “Game of Thrones” PLOT HOLES. “Entertainment Weekly” is checking out how the DUST SETTLED.)
(And for social media reactions, you can go here and here.)