Don’t Do This At Work

Look, you’re at work… not in your living room. So don’t do the following while you’re at the office:

• Don’t microwave fish in the office. Or the food you brought home from the Indian restaurant last night. And for that matter, don’t leave the break room while popcorn’s in the microwave.

• Don’t go barefoot. Most feet aren’t that pretty.

• Don’t be the office downer. Work is hard to love so please don’t make it even harder by being one of those people who responds to “How ya doing!?” with “tired,” or “if my car didn’t suck I’d be better.”

• Don’t conduct business on the toilet.

• Don’t give yourself a manicure/pedicure. If you shouldn’t go barefoot at work, you most certainly shouldn’t be picking at your toes and fingers. Unless you plan to break out the vacuum cleaner and vacuum everything with 20 feet of your desk.

• Don’t steal food. I brought my lunch/snack/whatever for a reason. I’m sorry you’re not prepared for an 8-hour day.