The “Golden Globes” aired last night . . . and I’m pretty sure it just ended about 10 minutes ago. Yeah, it was a long show . . . but at least there were a few things worth watching.
Like JEFF BRIDGES continuing to channel The Dude while accepting the Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award.
Seriously . . . was he ALWAYS like this, or did he smoke so much weed during the making of “The Big Lebowski” that he just thinks it’s real life now?
Anyway, Jeff called us all TRIM TABS, which are small rudders that help turn the big rudder on a large ship. He said, quote, “We’re alive. We can really make a difference.
“We can turn this ship in the way we want to go, man. Towards love. Creating a healthy planet for all of us.” Then he told the crowd, quote, “You’re all trim tabs! Tag, you’re it!”
He also said he’d be happy to be associated with The Dude for the rest of his life.
Director PETER FARRELLY fought through the “wrap it up” music to deliver a message of hope in these divided times, after his movie “Green Book” won Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical.
And GLENN CLOSE got a standing ovation when she took a stand for women, while accepting the Best Actress in a Drama award for “The Wife”. (An award Lady Gaga was expected to win for “A Star is Born”.)
She said, quote, “[My mother] really sublimated herself to my father her whole life . . . And in her 80s she said, to me, ‘I feel I haven’t accomplished anything.’ And it was so not right.
“Women, we’re nurturers, that’s what’s expected of us . . . But we have to find personal fulfillment. We have to follow our dreams. We have to say ‘I can do that, and I should be allowed to do that.’”
Outside of this, the show was pretty boring. But at least they got the worst part out of the way early:
Hosts ANDY SAMBERG and SANDRA OH tried to REVERSE ROAST the audience . . . by saying really complimentary things about people but acting like they were delivering sick burns.
It was basically a retread of Andy’s performance at the JAMES FRANCO Comedy Central roast several years ago, and it wasn’t all that funny then, either.
And there was kind of a hacky moment when MAYA RUDOLPH “proposed” to AMY POEHLER . . . like how that director guy proposed to his girlfriend during his acceptance speech at last year’s “Emmys”.
If there was an award for Most Bad-Ass Look, it would have gone to JAMIE LEE CURTIS for going all white . . . like, from head to toe. Yet somehow, she didn’t make this Best Dressed list.
On that note, here’s “Cosmo’s” list of the best and worst dressed.
And the evening’s most popular accessory was the Time’s Up bracelet.
Oh, and they gave out some awards, too. “Bohemian Rhapsody” won Best Movie, Drama . . . and RAMI MALEK won Best Actor for playing FREDDIE MERCURY.
“Green Book” won in the Musical or Comedy category.
In the TV categories, “The Americans” won Best Drama, and “The Kominsky Method” won for Musical or Comedy.
Individual winners included Glenn Close, Rami Malek, Christian Bale, Olivia Colman, Sandra Oh, Rachel Brosnahan, Mahershala Ali, and Michael Douglas.
CAROL BURNETT received the inaugural Carol Burnett Award for outstanding achievement in television, and in his introduction, Steve Carell said she’s so nice, she makes Tom Hanks look like an A-HOLE.
Meanwhile, the biggest snubs of the night were “A Star is Born”, “Vice”, and “Mary Poppins Returns”.
The Movie Awards
Best Drama: “Bohemian Rhapsody”
Best Actress, Drama: Glenn Close, “The Wife”
Best Actor, Drama: Rami Malek, “Bohemian Rhapsody”
Best Musical or Comedy: “Green Book”
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy: Olivia Colman, “The Favourite”
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy: Christian Bale, “Vice”
Best Supporting Actress: Regina King, “If Beale Street Could Talk”
Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, “Green Book”
Best Animated Feature Film: “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”
Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón, “Roma”
Best Screenplay: “Green Book”. It was written by Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, and director Peter Farrelly.
Best Original Song: “Shallow“ from “A Star Is Born”
Best Original Score: “First Man” by Oscar-winning composer Justin Hurwitz . . . from “La La Land” and “City of Stars“.
Best Foreign-Language Film: Mexico’s “Roma”
The TV Awards
Best Drama Series: “The Americans” (FX)
Best Actress, Drama: Sandra Oh, “Killing Eve”
Best Actor, Drama: Richard Madden, “Bodyguard”
Best Musical or Comedy Series: “The Kominsky Method” (Netflix)
Best Actress, Musical or Comedy Series: Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
Best Actor, Musical or Comedy Series: Michael Douglas, “The Kominsky Method”
Best Miniseries or TV Movie: “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story” (FX)
Best Actress, Miniseries or TV Movie: Patricia Arquette, “Escape at Dannemora”
Best Actor, Miniseries or TV Movie: Darren Criss, “The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story”
Best Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie: Patricia Clarkson, “Sharp Objects”
Best Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie: Ben Whishaw, “A Very English Scandal”
Cecil C. DeMille Award: Jeff Bridges
The Inaugural Carol Burnett Award: Carol Burnett
(For more information on the winners, hit up GoldenGlobes.com.)