Well, the Super Bowl Halftime Show has clearly gone too far, and I don’t know how we come back from it. Because last night, live in front of a worldwide audience, one of the performers ULULATED right on the stage.
It was SHAKIRA who did the deed . . . which isn’t actually dirty. I’m just messing with you. Ululating is just moving your tongue back and forth to add a trilling quality to your voice.
But this is Shakira . . . who could look sexy buying a protractor at a college book store while wearing a muumuu. So it wasn’t NOT erotic watching her tongue dart in and out of her mouth.
This is the #PepsiHalftime moment I didn’t know I needed.
— Braddington (@bradwhipple) February 3, 2020
As for the performance itself, the Internet seems almost unanimous that Shakira and JENNIFER LOPEZ slayed it. First of all, they both still look amazing. J-Lo is 50 and Shakira is 43.
They also danced like maniacs. Each of them got about six minutes to perform a medley of hits, then they came together at the end, with Shakira playing some drums, and Jennifer singing with her 11-year-old daughter Emme, who’s got serious pipes.
J-Lo also showed off some of the moves she learned for “Hustlers”, utilizing what I assume is the first STRIPPER POLE in Super Bowl history.
As expected, J. BALVIN and BAD BUNNY also made cameos.
But I’m sure there are more than a few people . . . and I’m not saying I’m one of them . . . who will say that the highlight of the performance was the DOUBLE BOOTY SHAKE by two of the finest backsides in the business.
— Simpson Street (@SimpsonStreet) February 3, 2020
Or maybe it was the whole “female empowerment” thing. I don’t know. Your call.
Did either of these ladies actually sing? Who cares???
(You can watch the whole show here. The shake-off happens at 12:41. Some people . . . and I’m not saying I’m one of them . . . would probably say that it was way too short.)
Meanwhile, YOLANDA ADAMS did a fantastic job with “America the Beautiful” . . . and DEMI LOVATO CRUSHED the National Anthem. There are even people suggesting that it’s second only to WHITNEY HOUSTON’s version from 1991.
The moment must have been particularly sweet for Demi, given the fact that she predicted it 10 years ago.
JAY-Z, BEYONCÉ, and their daughter Blue Ivy actually stayed SEATED during the anthem . . . which could have been to show solidarity with COLIN KAEPERNICK. Nobody really knows at this point.
One last note: O.J. SIMPSON made his way into last night’s broadcast. It was during the video package showing the NFL’s “All-Time Team”, made up of the greatest players in the league’s 100-year history.
O.J. was NOT, however, one of the many All-Timers who were actually on the field during the presentation. I’m sure his invitation got lost in the mail.
(Here’s the video. Orenthal James appears at 4:13.)